No, I’m not talking about Obama or Pelosi.

Some email humor:

The first is purported to be from Jeff Foxworthy but I think he could have done most of them better.

I’ve revised it slightly as an instructional tool for the TSA.

——————————————————-

If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor…

You may be an Islamic Terrorist.

If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes..

You may be a Islamic Terrorist.

If you have more wives than teeth…

You may be a Islamic Terrorist.

If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean…

You may be a Islamic Terrorist.

If you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide…

You may be a Islamic Terrorist.

If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against…

You may be a Islamic Terrorist.

If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing…

You may be a Islamic Terrorist.

If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs…

You may be a Islamic Terrorist.

If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four…

You may be a Islamic Terrorist.

If your cousin is president of the United States …

You may be a Islamic Terrorist.

———————-

Blonde Joke:

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-panel energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn’t paid for them.
Hellloooo …just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo? It’s been a year! I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.

He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

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