After much contemplation, a lot of hand-wringing analysis of the site stats, and a few beers, I’ve come to the conclusion that Bob Belvedere is right. I have a problem titling my posts. See, I’m stoopid. I was under the impression that people might actually be interested, even a bit PO’d to find out the identities of the insidious  Socialists in their State Governments, but I guess not. (Those of you who shared the posts are of course not included.)

The socialists at the national level? Who needs to search for those? They are on TV and the intertoobz every day. I can’t turn on my radio without hearing Obummer spouting off about his latest Baracklishment, and after the HealthCare jam-down, anyone who is remotely sane has already put names to their particular demons.

So, where are you going with this ‘bot?

Glad you asked.

From now on, I’m going to strive to be more creative, more exciting, tantalizing, even titillating with my headlines.

For instance, I think the “1000+ Socialists in State Governments” post could have been helped with some more panache’. How about:

“Beer Swilling Space Aliens Take Over Capitol!”

No? OK, let’s try to inject a bit more sex.

“Big Breasted Babes Danger to Mother Gaia!”

“Massive Melons Threaten to Tip Earths Axis!”

“Cleavage Crisis Widens! Enviro-Mentalists Urge Ban on Silicone!”

That one should start a riot or two.

Here’s one for the “Twilight” crowd:

“Deadly Vampire Swamp Creatures Invade New Hampshire! Ignore At Your Own Peril!(Some may be more truthful than others.)

Sure, they have no relevance to the article. So what? The New York Times and National Enquirer get away with overblown hype every day. People want entertainment. They don’t want the truth. The majority of them wouldn’t know the truth if an America-hating Commie/Muslim was in the White House stealing trillions from them for his personal slush fund and trashing the nation’s sovereignty while smacking them in the face with a Ground Zero Mosque! To them I say, careful what you ignore. In today’s day and age, what you don’t know can and will kill you.

Hope you’ve enjoyed today’s rant. I was really pissed off when I started this. Now I’m only slightly flustered.

  • Steve October 6, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    Nice rant Robot!

    Too funny…

  • T.L. Davis October 6, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    Well deserving a read and a bit of commiseration. I’ve been working on my titles for the same reason, giving it a bit of thought and a tweak here and there. Sometimes what we have to say is important but sounds boring. I hope you don’t mind if I say that while those titles are certainly clickable, they are a bit…well…outlandish.

    I care.

    • mnrobot October 6, 2010 at 11:27 pm

      Hey T.L. Yea, I was in a bit of a snit, but all is good in the hood now. Just trying to extract a bit of humor from a tough day and throw in some hopefully heavy handed keywords for the search engines. Thanks for stopping in!

  • Lilac Sunday October 6, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    Titles are quirky things. They need to contain enough information to entice the potential reader, but leave enough unsaid that the reader has absolutely no choice but to read the post. Having said that, the title of this post might have given too much away; I know the aliens left. :>

    Two of my recent titles are “Fruit-caused disaster” and “In case of emergency, please remove your bra.”

    And thank you for sharing those interesting links over at my blog, I always love it when you stop by!!

    • mnrobot October 6, 2010 at 11:21 pm

      Lilac, I may have to consult with you on future headlines. Especially after reading the emergency bra removal one. How could any red blooded male not read such a post? Or woman for that matter, you may be sharing a survival technique. Bra-vo!

  • Opus #6 October 6, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    Glad you had the opportunity to get that off your CHEST. Thanks for keeping me ABREAST of all the update.

    And good luck with the lubricants. Hey, robots need to keep well-oiled.

  • Randy_G October 7, 2010 at 5:25 am

    A well oiled Robot indeed…..Heh.

  • Matt October 7, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    Good rant, ‘bot. Titles are hard. Occasionally, I do a good one, but other times, not so much.

  • […] much reflection and consumption of amber liquids, the Mind Rumbed Numbed Robot has decided to go tabloid [for some reason, he's blaming me!].  The only question I have after reading his […]

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