The Troglopundit must be stopped!

First, he throws some lighter fluid on the already flimsy kindling that is the “when did bin Laden die” conspiracy.

(BTW, I like deathers too, but sharkers might work as well.)

Now he’s attempting to put to rest every conspiracy in the book!

JFK, The Truthers, The Moon Landing, Obama’s BC (You know where I stand on that one.) and now bin Laden, all in one fell swoop!

Hey, hold on there a minute, Bucko. Leave some meat for the rest of us wolves to chew on, would ya? If you disprove all of them, then we won’t be able to milk these things for more traffic until the Danica Patrick sex tape is released.

What? There is no Danica Patrick sex tape? Heh, that’s just what they told you.

As for bin Laden, everyone knows it was Smitty, in the hide, with the sniper rifle.

And now I hear that Belvedere has found the Mother Ship, Bigfoot and Elvis. Say it isn’t so!

Oh, and here’s an FYI: According to just about everyone on Twitter, the first rule of Seal Team Six is, there is no Seal Team Six.

Got it? Good.

Stay suspicious, my friends.

  • Zilla May 3, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    I just saw Sasquatch! Oh wait, that was just Mrs. Obama. Never mind.

    • robot May 3, 2011 at 4:44 pm

      Bwahahaha. Moochelle could not be found for comment.

      But you do raise an interesting question. Has anyone ever seen them in the same room together?

  • 5etester May 3, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    The biggest conspiracy of all is us thinking we can actually open that damn bubble plastic surrounding whatever we just bought at the store!

  • Kid May 3, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    osammi is in Hawaii right now being water boarded back to the stone age. Once we find out about the sex fantasies he had at 7 and how many cracks he stepped on that broke his mother’s back we’ll ship him off to the land of permanent eternal perpetual water boarding at 12,000 feet below sea level.

    Then we’ll go do it to al zirwahi or whatever the hell his name is.

  • Matt May 3, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    I really haven’t seen such an orgy of conspiracies. I really haven’t.

    As for my contribution, they took bin Laden to Area 51, from where bigfoot and Nessie took him to the North Pole, so they could enter the opening to the inside of the Earth. There, he will be waterboarded by the Greys, who are assisted by the Space Nazi’s. Hitler’s brain, Jimmy Hoffa, and Elvis will make sure the Geneva Conventions are not violated.

  • Frank Koza May 4, 2011 at 3:21 am

    I’m here for the Danica Patrick sex tape. I’m dying to know if rumors are true that Dick Cheney is in it. So stop beating around the bush and just release it so I can get over this fixation and get back to things that matter.

  • robot May 4, 2011 at 9:59 am

    @Kid – OK, so how do you really feel?
    @Matt – I knew I was leaving a few stones unturned. lol
    @Frank – Dood. I like Cheney and all but there’s a line that should never be crossed which result in mental images that won’t go away. 8^O *shudder*

  • Frank Koza May 5, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    C’mon, man. I like Cheney too and I think he would be awesome in the best Batman flick evah. Cheney as the Penguin renouncing his former life of crime and teaming up with Danica as Catwoman embarking on all sorts of adventures to find Osama with his connections until that inevitable man/woman connecting moment. Endless, the possibilities are…

    And he’s always had such a fondness for hunting birds. ;)

    But you already knew that because you have the damn tape, so let it go!

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