Due to the constant deflection, disinformation and outright opacity of the Obama administration concerning the events on Sept. 11, 2012 in Benghazi, Libya, The Robotic News Service™ has spared no expense employing a multitude of crack-head reporters to uncover the truths about that night and the circumstances surrounding the horrendous attack on the American consulate. The RNS™ newshounds left no rock unburned, sifting through the facts and fallacies of this story for as many as ten minutes to bring you the following unmitigated amalgamation of previously undisclosed information pertaining to the Benghazi conflagration.
The Real Story of Benghazi
Unbeknownst to Ambassador Chris Stevens, Navy SEAL commandos Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty or computer expert Sean Smith, who lost their lives defending those clandestine US interests, the Benghazi “consulate” was actually a front for an ultra secret Libyan love nest, a Bedouin Brothel, if you will, dealing sex for Stingers or in some cases, sodomy for shoulder-fired missiles. (You can make up your own punch line for that last one.) The code name for the covert operation, according to anonymous imaginary sources was “Humping for Hamas.”
These same sources also claim Generals Petraeus and Adams were frequent “visitors” to the facility, conducting numerous hands-on “inspections” and “performance reviews.” Other sources claim the unmanned drone in the air during the attack was secretly filming these “visits” and the CIA had planned to use the resulting Sex Tapes to blackmail the generals or, depending on circumstances, to promote their forthcoming Secret Service Porn Channel, tentatively called “The De-Briefing Room.” ~ Hey, I didn’t name these things. It’s the government running a whore house here, remember?
Titles of some planned feature length fornication films include:
Lusty Libyan Lesbians
Busty Beauties of Benghazi – Lascivious Libyans and their High Ranking, Randy Boy Toys
The Big Libido-ski – Tag line: “Is that a rocket launcher in your pocket? Or are you just glad to see me?”
Bodacious Burqa Babes
Al Qaida Concubines in Corsets
Blonde Suicide Bombshells
Given that General Petraeus pre-screened the home movies testified behind closed doors this week, I think we can safely assume the release of at least one of the new films is near. Perhaps launching the pron career of Jill Kelly will succeed in further distracting the American ADHD public from the contemptuous, treasonous actions of our Complainer in Chief and his merry band of miscreants.
I, for one, am hoping for the opposite effect.
Governor Romney knocked it out of the park tonight at the Alfred E. Smith Foundation dinner.
He brought the funniez. Trust me.
Laugh out loud funny.
This one is sure to go viral.
Got a good chuckle out of this one. I wouldn’t recommend it but…
I just got my Federal tax return “Returned”! I was trying to get a jump on doing my taxes this year, but the IRS sent my tax return back!!
I guess it was because of my response to the line which said “List All Dependents.” I replied: “12 million illegal immigrants, 3 million crackheads, 42 million deadbeats on food stamps, 2 million people in over 243 prisons, and 535 fools in Congress.”
Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer. So I sent it back with a question …”Did I forget someone?”
And by blast, I mean in a bad way, as in the Constitution blown all to hell.
I found this little gem of a Pelosivator while rummaging through the Robo-Memory Banks last night. Not sure why I chose to post the others and not this one. Well, here you go, ’cause we need to be reminded of the arrogance, contempt and corruption on display back in 2009 and 2010 during the ObamaCare debate and passage. Remember when a million people took to the streets ad held peaceful protests against it and all they did was scoff at the TEA Party?
Yea. Me too.
Blog note: Originally posted on 5-2-12.